the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
