Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
