I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Semen is not good for contacts.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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