"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
