Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
