Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"