Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I think I sprained my soul last night
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
