Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(479): View more from Arkansas

New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.

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(479): New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways. http://tfl.nu/3d1m

Replies (42) Good night (871) Bad night (2705)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.

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(410): I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs. http://tfl.nu/d8vw

Replies (19) Good night (3552) Bad night (825)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.

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(781): i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up. http://tfl.nu/navv

Replies (12) Good night (4719) Bad night (741)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.

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(978): my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck. http://tfl.nu/9a64

Replies (17) Good night (724) Bad night (3785)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?

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(630): Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible? http://tfl.nu/m7m6

Replies (12) Good night (972) Bad night (3701)
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(818): View more from California

I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.

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(818): I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot. http://tfl.nu/6tih

Replies (5) Good night (5688) Bad night (1420)
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(951): View more from California

Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants

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(951): Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants http://tfl.nu/uwlg

Replies (8) Good night (3332) Bad night (898)
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(775): View more from Nevada

THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.

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(775): THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL. http://tfl.nu/wgt5

Replies (19) Good night (3664) Bad night (1497)
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(716): View more from New York

I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean

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(716): I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean http://tfl.nu/rm0w

Replies (17) Good night (1418) Bad night (2710)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.

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(402): I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong. http://tfl.nu/dijt

Replies (19) Good night (2728) Bad night (796)
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(330): View more from Ohio

OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.

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(330): OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM. http://tfl.nu/cuq6

Replies (15) Good night (2633) Bad night (450)
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(515): View more from Iowa

As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.

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(515): As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck. http://tfl.nu/c7nn

Replies (9) Good night (988) Bad night (316)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus

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(774): I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus http://tfl.nu/kps3

Replies (3) Good night (498) Bad night (766)
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(409): View more from Texas

Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.

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(409): Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY. http://tfl.nu/n49p

Replies (11) Good night (366) Bad night (1468)
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(951): View more from California

Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.

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(951): Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation. http://tfl.nu/t4hm

Replies (4) Good night (1171) Bad night (458)

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