Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?

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  (617): My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned? http://tfl.nu/bm6r
  Replies (125) Good night (7720) Bad night (2485)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon

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  (334): I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon http://tfl.nu/p3qx
  Replies (44) Good night (6148) Bad night (1030)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  So my game is weak??

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.

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  (318): So my game is weak?? (501): If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes. http://tfl.nu/3tou
  Replies (10) Good night (1060) Bad night (3511)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?

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  (404): Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip? http://tfl.nu/mroo
  Replies (35) Good night (1107) Bad night (4956)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.

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  (937): I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide. http://tfl.nu/dybq
  Replies (4) Good night (3004) Bad night (813)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.

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  (440): basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out. http://tfl.nu/kbtu
  Replies (3) Good night (803) Bad night (2667)
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  (805): View more from California

  I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed

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  (805): I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed http://tfl.nu/07h0
  Replies (15) Good night (2997) Bad night (923)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.

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  (704): And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun. http://tfl.nu/h28t
  Replies (5) Good night (933) Bad night (3792)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made

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  (302): A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made http://tfl.nu/dho0
  Replies (13) Good night (1699) Bad night (634)
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  (323): View more from California

  Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah

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  (323): Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah http://tfl.nu/389u
  Replies (4) Good night (1113) Bad night (450)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He was the only guy who ever made me cry..

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?

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  (330): He was the only guy who ever made me cry.. (1-330): Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach? http://tfl.nu/1khh
  Replies (2) Good night (2271) Bad night (579)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES

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  (815): THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES http://tfl.nu/zxql
  Replies (7) Good night (789) Bad night (733)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.

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  (701): I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close. http://tfl.nu/zatr
  Replies (2) Good night (450) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.

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  (954): You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one. http://tfl.nu/l0kb
  Replies (4) Good night (301) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like

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  (843): Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like http://tfl.nu/wow5
  Replies (3) Good night (306) Bad night (274)

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