FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
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I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
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Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.