Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key

  (631): View more from New York

  had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key (631): had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now. http://tfl.nu/o06a
  Replies (21) Good night (907) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/zj28
  Replies (25) Good night (3122) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes. http://tfl.nu/z5fi
  Replies (17) Good night (2946) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj http://tfl.nu/74ok
  Replies (76) Good night (6702) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (985): I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call. http://tfl.nu/xapr
  Replies (15) Good night (4589) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (916): How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology. http://tfl.nu/cnij
  Replies (34) Good night (1082) Bad night (3678)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  You said your dick dragged you up the stairs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): You said your dick dragged you up the stairs http://tfl.nu/g6yn
  Replies (3) Good night (3234) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk" http://tfl.nu/2chc
  Replies (5) Good night (740) Bad night (2192)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation? http://tfl.nu/p01u
  Replies (2) Good night (2426) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree? http://tfl.nu/odr7
  Replies (10) Good night (2947) Bad night (912)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (580): Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying" http://tfl.nu/0sq3
  Replies (4) Good night (3811) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands. http://tfl.nu/r3el
  Replies (2) Good night (655) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/x8sq
  Replies (4) Good night (500) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me. http://tfl.nu/tvzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1042) Bad night (502)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff http://tfl.nu/ddxb
  Replies (6) Good night (945) Bad night (262)

Randomize