bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
