Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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