Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I'm always down for nudity.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
