the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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