Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
