I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize