matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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