I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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