i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
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I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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