why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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