Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
