this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
