I heard we made out
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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