In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
