I want to make a zoo with you.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I fill condoms, not promises.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
