well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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