The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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