What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Randomize
