I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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