How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
