Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
