Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
