Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
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