Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
