Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize