just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
