I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
