omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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