Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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