went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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