we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
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he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
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Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
is it fun? or sober?
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