I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
