omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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