I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
That reminds me...we need to get swords
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
