9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
