STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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