I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
