Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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