glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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