I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize