I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
