i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
