She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
