dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
