she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
you are never too drunk for berry picking
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
