you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
