Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
my shit smells like andre
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize