Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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