We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
