Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
