I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
