why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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