the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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