We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
