Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
