i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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