My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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