I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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