What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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