I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
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