can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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