I think I died a long time ago.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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