let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
