I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
