He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize